Fall, My Love

Leaves change from green to orange, yellow and red, dropping from the tree to blanket the world below.

Some fall faster than others leaving a single leaf at the top of the tree holding on, not ready to let go just yet of another year.

Seeing the transition prepares my spirit for saying goodbye, all while saying hello.

My heart, my love crescendos in the seasonal transition.

Taking stock, reviewing memories, each day remembering to be grateful, remembering to honor what I do have and what does work in my life.

It takes more than one day a year to truly feel the benefits of life yet I look forward to a time when the weather is cooler and people are closer, allowing us to focus on affirming what one does want and what can be good.

Autumn, my heart jumps while it falls as another year is slips through my fingers, all while feeling the rise of warmth coming in the promise of a new year.

You are my favorite time of year and with it you bring a visual and emotional wonderland of past and present.

Wind down and slow yourself into winter, but let me enjoy your rich colors for just a big longer.

Until we meet again next year, I shall cherish every moment, taking stock internally and externally, correcting my errors and forgiving myself.

Seasons change showing us the phases of life, transitions, life and birth, decline and death. Nothing can outrun these transitions and each season prepares and allows for reflection upon the spring, summer, fall and inevitable winter of life.

Fall, embrace me one last time this year as I prepare for the next.

 

Golden Rules-No Reflection of Reality

What is it about life that is so ironic? You want to know? I’ll tell you. We are raised and our parents were raised, and most people raise their children to have values and believe in a sense of right and wrong. We are taught and then teach that only good people have a truly good life (and possibly afterlife if you believe in that), and that even if bad people get ahead there will be consequences for being bad. Everyone seems to agree that being honest and having integrity is important. The Golden Rules.

Yet here’s the twist – once you reach a certain age you realize the world isn’t really that way.   It isn’t that way at all. In fact, it’s merely an ideal that we all strive to but admittedly don’t live up to – and we all agree to that covenant. By “we” I mean our society as a whole, not that we all do bad things to get ahead. But good winning out in the end is only one scenario of how things can go. The truth, the ugly, brutal, ironic truth is that much if not most of the time, there is no consequence for breaking all the Golden Rules. Dishonesty, Greed, Cruelty, Gluttony is rewarded and doesn’t impede people’s progress one bit. In fact, the greedy, dishonest, cruel, manipulative (insert negative adjective, here) get ahead and thrive in this world.

Sometimes I feel pissed off about being lied to (waahh, I know) and about this desperate clinging that the last few generations of adults have had to keeping children in the dark about the realities of life as if it will somehow prevent such realities from happening to them. Now I’m not talking about the super, ugly, triple X or violent stuff – but the nature of people and how the world can make you stronger or swallow you whole.

Of course, that’s the point of living life, to learn these lessons, and our parents don’t have all the answers – yes, I know that and can forgive that. Rather, what pisses me off and scares me and brings forth feelings of sadness and helplessness is the collective, communal, planetary acceptance of behaving badly as a part of life while completely teaching, promoting and selling the opposite. Behaving badly means doing things we were taught as children are inherently NOT the way to be or act or treat others, but do it as adults – so that’s just about everything! Lying, gossiping, manipulation, deception, back-stabbing/bus throwing-under-ing, turncoat-ism, disrespect, sexism, racism, back room deals, under the table dealings, etc., etc., etc.

I am drawn to good, always have been. Even if utilizing the dark side can get you ahead, there is an emptiness to it that seems is a mandatory consequence. I am not built to be a corporate animal. Too phony and cut-throat, negative and anxious – that world – and it’s always like that regardless of your position. Anyone who expresses true thoughts, opinions and ideas and expects direct communication is truly dead meat in corporate America – some of the darkest energy generators on Earth.

What happens in the dark will come into the light, so the saying goes, and such darkness really does have bitter consequences, even if unseen by the rest of us.

I guess I probably just sound naive or Pollyanna myself, but I suppose I really am at that “stage” I keep talking about in previous posts. The mid-30s, when all the distractions don’t work anymore and you see the world for what it really is – and thankfully for me, what I’ll have to do to thrive in it. I think it’s a precious time for me and I am savoring every drop by writing down my thoughts and capturing moments. Someday when I’m much older I plan to read about this time in my life again.

So this blog showcases a repurposed woman freshly on the other side of a few years of chaos and struggle, and examines how that chaotic reality is the norm, it seems, for women currently in their mid-to-late-30s. We came up in a time when you were supposed to have a career and a family. We were/are tolerant and wanted change and were/are confident in what our lives were/are to be. We have put in our time and work and we were just learning about the Internet in college (early 2000s), but then, in the span of just a few years – the world changed – and we had JUST been college educated and starting our careers – perhaps a few years in – when WHAM – we were (or may have been) already in an outdated industry (those of us going into print media but it’s happened in other industries). However it happened, our lives had not come together the way we planned, with it all worked out and in the bag – career, husband who is love of life, kid/s, book deal in the works all by 35.   Tee hee.

Going back to that time (and even now), it seemed the world had become more interested in the virtual than the tactile.  Of course, as we sway to one end of the spectrum, so we begin to sway back to the other side. For all the virtual living we do, we are increasingly using technology to connect more with others, in person.

This is the changing and evolving world we live in and adjusting quickly to those changes is simply a reality. It is the new “way it is” (I just cannot let myself call it the “new normal” because the instant media world we live in killed that one fast).

Being born when I was (late 1970s), I got to see the world before this stage of mobile technology and now I see it with this technology. We live in a world of screens filled with instant gratification. It’s certainly a spectacle, but I feel that I am the luckiest generation of all! Our generation knows how to function without all these mobile devices (well, I will if I have to but don’t want to) because we grew up learning how to do everything manually, but in young adulthood, had to learn the world with computers (college, work) – so we received the best of both worlds.

As I say hello to the next birthday (just a couple days now), I embrace my life, my age, my place in the world and my next steps. I feel more solidified than ever before – as if it’s finally happened for real – adulthood. I’m ripened and matured, ready to handle this world we have before us.

Wassup world?!

 

P.S. Follow Woman Sees World on Twitter: @womansees

Women and movies

Reading articles lately on sexism in film and the way women are portrayed. The last thing I am is an activist, but I am a realist. Honest, blunt truth, even if it’s not pretty. The truth is…sexism in film, sexism towards women, it’s true. The world of film has always been and still is dominated by men and the stories/movies we see portrayed continue to validate the male perspective of women, only.

There is nothing wrong with the male perspective, per se, yet it actually becomes problematic when it’s the “only” perspective being given, because it creates a disparity on what stories are being told. No matter how you slice it and how much you uphold what is true and right in your own personal life, a culture is created by its stories – the stories it shares with each other through a mass medium.

Think about how you want your sister, mother, daughter to see herself as a woman. Would it be as a desperate, air headed, needy, husband hunter or a sugary sweet homemaker who always puts her needs second to the men in her life? Or the dreaded cold corporate success hunter type woman who dares not cater to her family’s every whim. Or on the other side – do we really want our sons, fathers, brothers seeing constant reinforcement that men must be strongest, willing to be violent, misogynistic to be cool, and treat women like dirt because men don’t have time to worry about shit like that?

This is no rant, just an observation as a woman. I think men could agree if they looked at it from a little girl’s or a little boy’s perspective. Ask the simple question – what are good girls for, what are boys good for…? Whatever a 5-year-old boy or girl had to say to that, that is the REAL truth inside ALL our minds because we were told the same thing. Those 5-year-olds are mirroring the world they see, as are we, no matter our age. We all have a responsibility to ensure that all perspectives of a story get a chance to be told. We all can change the ties that bind us to stereotypical behaviors.

Therefore I want to send more messages to the moviemakers out there that we want to see more women in roles that are realistic and show them as powerful and strong – not only as a mate for the male lead. TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY UPON YOURSELF – IF YOU HAVE WOMEN YOU LOVE IN YOUR LIFE – STOP LOVING MONEY MORE THAN THOSE YOU LOVE AND HELP RESHAPE CULTURE BY SHOWING BOTH SIDES OF OUR PSYCHE. It may take some time to build, since “they” say the female lead roles don’t bring as much bank, but the way to ensure they do is to give it to us and watch the culture evolve.

Complimentary Minds

Women and men compliment each other well in many ways, including in business and professional endeavors. We as a people are slowly, bit by bit, awakening to the positive opportunities available in having both genders represented in any group, team, organization or boardroom. Women and men think differently, therefore to capture the entire audience to any one venture or project, both genders must be included.

Women think in details (and can get stuck in them), men think in actions (and tend to ignore details). When these two work together – details with action – beautiful things can be accomplished with a lot fewer hiccups.

This is just one of the ways in which our differences compliment each other.

Comment to Women Can, Will, Are…

It must be stated that typing in negative words result in negative results. Simply using words like need, should, shouldn’t, couldn’t, etc. implies that something negative will follow it. To give the Google type experiment a control, I tried typing in only positive phrasings.

When you do type in “Women can…” you begin to see the top searches ARE, in fact positive.

For example: Women should…run for the house and senate (first one!)

So the real lesson here is – focus on the positive and you will receive positive in return. While it is a shame people think negatively of women and gender, why focus on it and dissect it and study it and discuss it and pass it around in a huge UN ad to further highlight it and give it more energy? I did it too, I shared it… I’m human. After reviewing my previous post, I gained clarity – and instead of rewriting or rewording the previous post, I’m admitting I fell right into the same trap. I’m sharing my process. This is self reflection at work.

Instant reaction, as a human, is to focus on the negative – the “Oh my,” of what we see, hear, read, etc. We hyper focus on that and the “outside world,” instead of bettering ourselves. In other words – we are distracted by the “scandal,” and ignore the chance for growth.

When you see negative, replace it with a positive. It could be a chance to shift the outcome.