Full Circle

Accumulating everything that one can experience and feel – the “all that we’ve been through” moment between me, myself and I – I have to say that self-reflection, self-acceptance and self-growth are BY FAR the most gratifying. Oh my, Oy! I’m growing up…I’m grown up. (Deep breath, pat on back.) Maturity thy name is…me! Well for sure, I’ve grown MUCH in the last five, 8, 10 years and seriously, it’s been a whirlwind of overwhelming-ness the past five, and I have the memories to prove it. Through it all, through the bad and the joyous, awareness crashed upon me. With maturity, with growth, comes acceptance and inner power. Watching the Universe produce the life I decide and create, on my terms, is just a bleepin’ beautiful thing!

Isn’t it astounding how life can truly come back around full circle? It really does, even beyond those times when you thought you got off the ride so long it couldn’t be restarted – but of course it could – with tenuous inner work and care, learning to love the self, reigniting and reclaiming your (my) own power!

Damn, it feels good!

There are many of us in our mid-thirties who by age 30 had set up our lives they way our 20-something-selves saw fit and later realized (a sinking feeling that set in years before) that we didn’t make the right choice. Maybe we didn’t make the best choices earlier in life, and then maybe those choices were just what we needed/could benefit from “at the time.” Sure it’s cliché, but clichés come from a truth that’s been overdone. We definitely made some missteps, some wrong decisions that led us to begin building our lives with the wrong partner, career mistakes, detours, et cetera. But things change and we have changed!

I speak for us (mid-30s, GenXers, anyone born in late 1970s to 1981) and the reclamation period of life that is our time right now! Love, career and self fully in tact or at least on their way to being so. We know what we want and know exactly how to get it! No more of detours or excuses!

Life is always happening right now, but just right now. The past is history, the future’s a mystery…that old chestnut.

But the truth is, that’s true! I’m in the prime of my life and I can see all the past movements on the path, the script, the story of my life and how those actions/decisions/movements all led me to right now. I also see how it was impossible for me to forsee each movement to bring me to this place. This dimension doesn’t allow any other scenario. Everything does come full circle – what you want/need out of love, work, one’s own experiential reality, an appreciation beyond just the self – but not until one is ready to accept it…period.

I did lose myself in the muck for few years. Maybe I flailed a bit from my core, flying out from the center like a moon out of orbit from it’s planet or a sailboat with a broken sail in the middle of stormy ocean waters, (that yes, I put myself in and yes, I had to learn the hard [aka experiential] way, but with the disclaimer that such decisions also came from the fact that I was inexperienced). Overall, though, what’s important is acknowledging vulnerabilities to work past them and gain inner strength. Those choppy waters and stormy skies didn’t (and cannot) take me down, no, no no! Just as I knew (and know) what I’m made of and that I could (can) do it, I got (get) ME back and here I am – me, life, inspired creativity burning my brain once again! Full circle.

And even if it drives me batty and sometimes scares me and I thrash around, I love this ride of being human!

Gimmie those waves! I’m ready to surf. 😉

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I see Them. I see You. I see Me. Woman Sees World.

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