Taking breaks between writing is something I’m quite familiar with and the breaks got MUCH longer after I “broke my creative button.” That’s how I described it after exiting the fast-paced, minimal income life of freelance magazine writing. I had a significant local career going and had juussst barely eked into some national press – online mostly but a little print – when I realized I could not continue down the path I was on, personally. Professionally, I knew I wasn’t fully on course with my goals but that was nowhere near the urgency of my personal situation – that is, until I changed my marital status. Things became got A LOT more complicated. A husband’s income makes a HUGE difference in lifestyle. It really sucked to lose that; yet losing that majority income is often the price of freedom. It was gone and it was ALL on me – with my $2,500 on a bigger month, tops, me! Plus, I’m not the kind of person who wants to gain $ via bad karma so since I had decided to leave, I didn’t try to get anything from my ex; no alimony, etc. Just didn’t feel right. He didn’t owe me anything monetarily, really. I just wanted out, and I got that.
Anyhow, it was tight times yet it was some of the most wild (and fun and emotionally difficult and awful, but ultimately freeing) of my life. I experienced life as a “single” and all that entailed, including having my own space —-AHHHH! What a feeling that was – the best – and one I had never had up until that moment…AFTER being married. I needed it and I deserved it! It really felt good to have an entire residence all to myself, even if I did have a boyfriend and friends and family coming over often. It was mine all mine….although the money issues began to creep up once again. Being a single lends one to facing realities that are much easier to ignore as a couple. All in all, I have memories I’ll cherish forever from those 2.5 years living in my own place!!
It was also during this tumultuous period that I was falling in love, like HARD, very deeply – with a soul that had captured mine before I even realized it. We both fought it at first, but it was as inescapable as breathing air. We had the real thing. Now we are five years into this amazing love – and yes, of course, lightening struck the same year of my divorce. I can’t help that my soul mate plopped right onto my life path just when I was trying to get my single life established. But worry not! I had my single moments during that free time before heading back into relationship-ville, wink! 😉 As for my dear mate, everyone in our lives sees how our love is real. They know it, trust it and are touched by it. It truly is a blessing, but it was a hard road as well, and we really are just coming out of some tough times.
Now on the other side of MAJOR changes and zigzags in the original plan, I am faced with crucial questions and the drive to make things happen fast! I know I can as the foundation has been laid.